Musical influences : February 16′

Most of the songs have a reggea beat to them. Maybe because I was feeling a bit rebellious this month…

Lion Babe

Kali Uchis

Selena Gomez

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Where are you now my love?

Why can’t I stop thinking of you, my love?
My sense of awareness escapes me no longer here
What we once had, so perfect
No longer here

Why do my eyes get misty, my love?
Your perpetual stream of messages no longer here
When I check my phone to see them no longer here

Where is our love, my love?
That feeling of something so abstract yet so real I could almost touch it…no longer here

Where are you, my love?
Didn’t you say that this was forever?
Our plans we made together intertwined, dreams and hopes for a future so uncertain yet with you I was certain that this would last…

Talk to me my love…
All of a sudden, my music and joy and everything life was to me vanished, Houdini, now I am standing amidst smoke.

You’ve finally left me, my love!
All along I knew this day would come but you told me to close my eyes, to fall, 3,2,1… Now I’m plummeting down a dark void and you are on the cliff looking down at me.

Well you’ve won this round my love but I warn you,
I have not forgotten the pain I felt yesterday
And yes tomorrow, we will be the cutest couple
But I would never love you like I did before
With my eyes shut and my conscience silenced
I promise you that never again will you see that side of me that so easily fell for your gimmicks and chantage
I tattoo this promise to the innermost part of my soul,
To remind me of what you are capable of,
I would never love you again,
Now you come back and it’s too late,
This love is already broken.

Feels Like We Only Go Backwards

A short description of Love :

Emotions. Extremities. You’ve probably heard the saying. Roller-coaster. You’re speeding on the high-way, it’s exhilarating. The rush when you hear ‘I love you’, you know those three words have the power to inspire but also to break. But you become so dependent on them. It’s all so romantic till midnight strikes… When the thorn pricks, the wolf howls, the true colors come out. Like black dye in a pool of clear water. Everything transforms.

For others, it’s more gradual. The events approach, step by step, like a cat ready to pounce. You feel it coming, but is it really there? You ask. Like cigarette smoke in a room, love fills the air. Your arms outstretched, you’re blinded by the fog and intoxicated, you keep tripping. You’re advancing because to you it’s all a game. Then it seizes you. It’s claws dig deep into your haunted soul.

Is that it?

A few hours, days, weeks pass…

Before you know it, you’ve recovered and you’re on full speed again.

Oh, the cycle of love. How do you keep me trapped in your evil loop?

Vince Staples : Misconceptions

In his music video for ‘Norf Norf‘ from his album entitled Summertime ’06 we watch Vince Staples get locked up.

I ain’t never ran from nothin’ but the police

I ain’t never ran from nothin’ but the police

I ain’t never ran from nothin’ but the police

He’s hand cuffed and taken to the station where he is questioned and in this black and white video, we see a lot of aggressiveness in the way the police treats Vince. He talks about issues black people face in the United States, especially where he’s from (Long Beach, CA) : drugs, gangs, police brutality, prostitution, teen pregnancies…etc

Last night, I came across an interview of him :

Entertainment is like a zoo,
You listen to the nice stuff (sheeps, birds…)
but you also go to see stuff that can actually harm you like the lions and the bears

He believes that the message should be as good as the sound and he tries to bring something new to rap.

It’s easier for someone to understand where you’re coming from if they can see it

Watch the interview here :

Make sure you also watch from 23:18 where he talks about how we perceive people and what rap music teaches today.

Are you wild like me?

I’m the kind who gets fond of a particular person. Growing up, I formed a tight set of friends being my sister, some from primary school, then a few from high school and family friends.

I think this is because I’m a very shy person and I’m too lazy to keep up with so many friends so only the realest ones endure. We would share the worst jokes, give each other stupid nicknames and spend the most humiliating moments together. My friends also boosted my creative side, from drawing we started taking photographs and making mini-movies with The Sims 3. Mainly, they supports me, motivate me, helping me to grow in many ways.

When I heard ‘Bros’ by Wolf Alice for the first time, I was first captivated by how fun the sound was, it wasn’t pop or rock… and its not weird enough to be labelled as indie but yet it was a fun tune.

My favorite part is when she sings in a hush tone :

Ohhh
Jump that 43
Are you wild like me?
Raised by wolves and other beasts
I tell you all the time
I’m not mad
You tell me all the time
I got plans

It reminds me of Romulus and Remus, petty disputes and the impromptu fun forced by boring lunchtimes spent together.

The band describes their song as an “ode to friendship and imagination”.

If you like their song ‘Bros’, try ‘Freazy’

Transitioning into July

I want to start this post with a short paragraph on June. June was for me a month of waves. In the beginning, it was full of uncertainties because I was taking the first half of my final exams for high school. These feelings of doubt and fear slowly turned to bliss : I would spend my afternoons in my room, chatting with Bae and reading (Some Luck, Everything Good Will Come) the atmosphere humid but cold from series of heavy rain. I fell in love with Florence + The Machine’s new album, entitled “How Big How Blue How Beautiful”… Even though she might not necessarily be talking about waves, I just felt like that should be my “June 2015” album. When I listen to the songs, I would remember this mysterious month.

So many emotions in one month or is it just because I am more aware?

June. The month of my birthday. The month of the summer solstice. Month when Jupiter meets Venus.

I noticed that I’m starting to accept unfamiliar sounds more easily. I’ve listened to Weezer, Jamie xx and Leon Bridges’ new albums and I love them all.

I wonder what awaits me in July. I’m going to continue with my reading list and probably hang out with a few old friends. Do some yoga and test prep. I’m ready for whatever life is cooking up for me.

At St. Valentino hospital

Oh doctor, please tell me

When do the meds kick in

How much more time

Till this ciroheart-flex 600

Starts to work its magic?

Reconnecting and putting in order

The stray veins…

Because it seems

They no longer channel blood

To the right ventricle ❤️

And this lazy broken heart

Cannot pump like it used to

Wasting away everyday

Slowly decomposing

What used to be so red and lively

Now grey and mournful

Dear doctor, do say

When the meds kick in

Because my other organs

Depend on my heart

They cannot carry on without their leader

My skins glows a bit paler each day

My nails grow more fragile

With the faintest tug, they give away

If not bent, they are bending

If not broken, breaking

And the ends of my hair

Splitting in two

Until the shaft

No longer curls like it used to

And the single hair falls

One by one,

They fall and fall

And fall….

Doctor, this pain doesn’t come on its own

Ever so often a few drops

Of a saline solution

Run down my cheeks

I’m afraid very soon

I’ll become so dried up

I’d be like the very raisins

I use in minced meat pies

Shriveled and juiceless

Just the flavors left

Of what used to be

The buoyant me

A drop of honey

A dash of lemon

Some mint leaves

A cinnamon bark

A cup of tea

Or tablets for faster results…?

Mother Nature vs Orthodox medicine

I don’t think either can promise a cure

My broken heart has been diagnosed

And like the countless others before me

I must endure…💔